BUENOS AIRES: CREATING JOBS AT THE EXPENSE OF EFFICIENCY AND PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
1. Many people are unemployed.
2. Rich, lazy people have dogs.
3. Rich, lazy people do not want to walk their dogs.
4. Unemployed people are paid by the rich, lazy people to walk their dogs.
5. Unemployed people walk as many dogs as possible at one time so as to maximize efficiency and profit.
6. Dogs shit on sidewalk because the dog-walkers are walking too many dogs and couldn't possibly pick it all up.
7. The general population does not appreciate the shit on the sidewalk.
8. Landlords and business owners pay other unemployed people to clean the sidewalk in front of their building every morning.
10. Go back to step 4. Repeat ad infinitum.
Distribution of labor actually means less efficiency!
1. Customer walks into electronics store.
2. Employee 1 asks if he can help.
3. Customer asks for the item that she is looking for.
4. Employee 1 looks it up on the computer and confirms the price.
5. Customer asks if she can take a look at it first.
6. Employee 1 disappears for approximately 7 minutes and returns with the item (in this case, a cheap microphone headset for computers).
7. Customer agrees to buy it.
8. Employee 1 directs customer to computer, where he types in the item.
9. Employee 1 directs customer to cashier, where she will eventually be rung up, but not by Employee 1
10. Employee 1 tells customer that he will be waiting with the headset after she pays.
11. Customer waits for approximately 12 minutes while Employees 2 and 3 at the cashier fuck around with something else and then attend the woman in line in front of her.
12. Customer pays 15 pesos (US$5) for the item and receives receipt.
13. Customer returns to Employee 1 who does not have the item anymore and is attending a new customer.
14. Customer presents the receipt at the store room desk.
15. Customer waits for approximately 6 minutes while the only store room desk attendant wheels a large appliance outside.
16. Customer gives receipt to store room desk attendant.
17. Store room desk attendant disappears for approximately 4 minutes into the store room, which includes taking an elevator.
18. Store room desk attendant returns, puts headset in a bag, and hands it to customer.
19. Customer exits the store.
TOTAL TIME: 20-30 minutes
TOTAL EMPLOYEES REQUIRED: At least 4
[For comparison purposes, in the United States:
1. Customer walks into Best Buy.
2. Customer walks to the appropriate section of Best Buy.
2a. IF customer cannot find appropriate section, customer asks employee.
2b. Customer is then directed to the appropriate section.
3. Customer locates product she wishes to buy.
4. Customer takes product off the shelf and walks to the cashier.
5. Customer may wait in line, usually for less than 5 minutes.
6. Customer pays.
7. Customer exits the store.
TOTAL TIME: Less than 10 minutes
TOTAL EMPLOYEES REQUIRED: No more than 2]
Also, the Raconteurs album is amazing.
Also, Steve Irwin is dead?!?! Killed by a venomous stingray that pierced his heart?!
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